Okay, this is a bit of an awkwardly timed post because I wrote it a few days ago, before the high of my launch party for AVA LIN, ONE OF A KIND. So, I’m still riding that high and wanted to send a huge thank you to everybody who came out to help me celebrate!
But that’s what this business is full of—highs and lows! So here goes my post about rejection…
I love pitching. I love coming up with new ideas, making them take shape, and seeing where they can go. The adrenaline! The potential! The sense of accomplishment!
But along with pitching comes… rejection. Oh yeah.
I had sort of forgotten this part, because last year, I was so busy with books under contract that I didn’t have a lot of time to create anything new. But then, I got a fellowship with Fred Rogers Productions to kickstart a career in TV writing. And then I found a window of time to develop a new book idea. Exciting! So much potential! New things to pursue!
But now, I am on sub with a new book for the first time in a while. I’ve just launched a new Ava Lin book. And I’m pitching to write on TV shows, submitting premises and writing samples. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t get two of the shows I pitched for.) And I suddenly feel anxious and vulnerable—it’s nerve-wracking to put work out there to be judged!
I don’t want to talk about it.
Thinking about rejection doesn’t feel nice! Rejection is embarrassing! But to be honest, I am past the worst of the mental anxiety, which is allowing me to write this post. There are a few things that have helped me stabilize:
1. Rejection is part of this business. There is no way to be in this business for the long term and NOT be rejected. It’s pretty much a constant, really. Rejection also comes for so many reasons (some of which are out of your control.)
2. I know it’s cliché, but we learn and grow from rejections. We get better at our craft by understanding what’s working and what’s not, and why.
3. Rejection also means you’re putting yourself out there and taking risks—which is really the only way you’ll ever achieve the goals you’re aiming for. In fact, the more you put yourself out there, the more you will actually succeed—AND the more you will get rejected!
So what now?
Write what I love. The classic but true advice! I’ve been pulling myself in many directions, but my writing is strongest when it comes from my heart. I’m prioritizing the projects that feel true to me, so that I can do my best work.
Learn along the way. I’m constantly learning from feedback along the way. Why did I get that feedback? What would I need to do to move from a rejection to success? Which goals am I most interested in achieving and what is within my control to achieve them?
Keep putting myself out there. I mentioned that I’ve just gone on sub with a new book, and now I’ve started work on a new project that I’m excited about. I’m ready to keep on pitching, when my work is ready to share.
Take the time. There are no shortcuts to success, so I’m reminding myself to enjoy the creation process itself. Last weekend, I had the fortunate opportunity to attend an SCBWI writers’ retreat with Christine and connect with fellow writers of all stages in a friendly, low pressure, nature-filled environment. And it reminded me of when I first started writing, when the end point was less defined and the journey was the only guarantee. So I’m trying to consciously enjoy the journey, because it will always be the only guarantee.
Refocus my goals. I’m wandering a little into the philosophical, but what will bring me happiness in the long term rather than just quick dopamine hits (I’m looking at you, social media)? As soon as I got back from my retreat, energized on my new project, my kids asked me if I would write a video game with them. I’m disappointed to put my momentum aside (my new project was flowing!), but I also know that making something with my kids is important to me in the larger scheme of things. Sometimes you need to adjust your goals because you can only do so many things.
“No”s are really “Later”s.
The last thought I have is this: after doing this for years, it’s become clear to me that the “no”s are really “later”s. You’re constantly improving your work and putting it out there, which will lead to more possibilities in the future. Sometimes it takes years for something to circle back around and turn into a project. (See Christine’s post about Dear Mr. G.) Through the mentorships I’ve received in the TV industry, it’s been made clear to me that a successful pitch doesn’t require winning the project, but rather winning over the people. A given project might be rejected, but you’re putting yourself out there as well. And the next time you introduce yourself, you’ll have already established some of your strengths and be able to share the areas in which you’ve grown. Time and again, I’ve heard this from editors as well: they remember writers, and they see and appreciate the growth over time. Persevering through rejection is a huge part of the industry and shows people that you are serious and thoughtful about your work.
So get to it! Keep on putting your work out there, and write something you love.
Thank you so much for this ! I struggle with picking myself up after a rejection and not letting it get to me. Perseverance is my word of the year now 💪