I'm an Imposter

Or at least, that’s how I feel

I wrote in my personal newsletter last week that I was struggling with imposter syndrome. Here’s what I said:

“As I write this book I’ve been thinking about imposter syndrome. I sold it on proposal with just a chapter and an outline so now I have to live up to what I promised and it’s scary! I have definitely been having some doubts that I can do it. I think it’s probably natural and everyone feels like this sometimes. Tell me you do, too?”

I’m writing in a new category: middle grade. And as it’s nonfiction, I sold it on proposal rather than having a completely finished manuscript. So I’m feeling nervous.

• What if I can’t do it?

• What if my editor doesn’t like it?

• What if I get something wrong?

• What if aliens invade and they beam me up so I never finish my book?

That last one probably won’t happen. But how do I stop all those other ‘what ifs’?

Anyone know the book, We’re Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury?

The family (four kids, one dog) in the book meet many obstacles on their way to find a bear but each time, the only way is through.

We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.
Oh no!
We've got to go through it!

Just like the bear-searching family I have to push through the discomfort, the fear, and the what ifs as there’s no avoiding them.

I’ve got to go through it.

I did some research on imposter syndrome and some strategies for dealing with it. I hope it helps me. And you, too, if you’re also feeling a bit imposter-ish.

If it doesn’t, I suppose I can hope for the aliens to take me away and then I won’t have to finish the book.

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Psychology Today suggests that writers “are a perfect target for imposter syndrome.” The subjective nature of our work and the fact that it is reviewed and scrutinized publicly is perfect fuel for our imposter syndrome fire.

According to an article from the Harvard Business Review, one way to fight the flames is to reframe the fear by thinking positively. In my case, my editor believes in me and loved what I wrote in my proposal. She’s excited to see what I do with the rest of the book. And I’ve written many other books that people love, I’ve even won and been a finalist for various awards!

Here I am, an imposter with a long book signing line at ALA. Remembering things like this help me remember I can write books that people like!

I also love this question: if my younger self could see me now, what would she think? She’d be pretty amazed that I’m a published author. Writing was something she’d always wanted to do but children’s book author wasn’t even on her radar as something she could become.

Imposter Christine reading one of her published books - a dream her younger self never imagined

Another strategy to overcoming imposter syndrome is to make a plan. I can break down my project into smaller goals and stop panicking about the overall book I’m embarking on.

And maybe it helps to know that many, if not all, writers feel like an imposter at some point no matter how many books they’ve published, positive reviews they’ve received, awards they’ve won.

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At the end of We’re Going on a Bear Hunt, the family decide they’re never going on a bear hunt again.

But unlike them, I will write another book. And another one. And another. And I’ll probably feel like an imposter again.

But I know I can get through it. It’s the only way.